Feeling like you are falling apart?
Life throws us curve balls…… often.
But sometimes they are way more curvy and harder to handle than others.
When things like Natural disasters (or other major stress inducing events) hit, we are prone to respond in a myriad of ways.
Some people get emotional, some freeze and can’t do anything, or can’t make decisions, and some people kinda cruise through – cool as a cucumber.
Its tempting to judge our reactions
It’s easy to judge some reactions as WEAK and others Strong or Tough. The reality is that we don’t get to CHOOSE our reactions!!
In times of actual Stress, when the Stress Response is triggered, our response is automatic – we don’t choose and we cant choose to ‘suck it up’ or hang tough or COPE.
FIVE QUICK TIPS
So here is tip number ONE
Be gentle with yourself.
Don’t judge your reaction or compare your reactions with others around you.
Some people may hold it together in High Stress situations, but fall apart when they burn their toast.
(little disclaimer: - not being able to CHOOSE your reaction, is not an excuse for bad behavior!! You may not be able to choose your REACTION to a stressor, but you MUST ensure that you do NOT do anything that will harm yourself or anyone else.)
Tip number TWO
Allow yourself to park your pride and ask for support.
This is NOT the time to suck it up and just deal.
It’s ok to ask for help – choose a friend or family member who seems to be holding it together and let them know that you are struggling, or need some support, or even just a coffee catch up.
Tip number THREE
Focus on the Positive.
I know, I know, easier said than done.
When the chips are down and life feels impossible, it’s hard to even contemplate finding any positives. However, they are there.
It might be as simple as noticing that you like the flavor of your toothpaste – it doesn’t have to be earth shattering (like world peace!). The key is to spend your time looking for and focusing on any little (or big) thing that you can, that creates a sense of positivity.
And then there is the family
Do you have kids that are struggling, or anxious, or not coping at all?
Tip Number FOUR
The first thing to understand is that in MOST cases, children will take their cue from you. If you are not coping, they will ‘feed’ off that.
Now, STOP right there.
This is not where you start BLAMING yourself for your kids struggling. T
his is NOT about blame. This is about AWARENESS.
If your kids are having a tough time, the first thing you can do is find a way through tips one to three to show your kids that
* Sometimes Mums and/or Dads feel scared
* That it's not the children’s job to worry about their parents
* That it’s ok to feel scared sometimes, and that it’ll be ok.
Then Tip number FIVE
Allow the creative juices to FLOW.
Studies show that children who go through a stressful experience, need assistance to process their emotions.
One great way, is for them to PLAY with blocks, or colouring or modeling clay.
Choose a creative activity that is of interest to your child(ren).
What you may notice is that children will build buildings and then SHAKE them and watch them smash, only to build them again (or draw and colour them again).
You may notice that they add dialogue to match their actions.
The key here is to allow them to PLAY. No need to shut down their dramatic play, (because it seems extreme) or to analyse and talk through it.
Allow it to be relaxed PLAY. What ever your kids draw or build, it will be a form of processing, in a way that your children probably couldn’t articulate in a conversation.
Hopefully these five tips will feel like a wee lifeline while the going is tough.
Feel free to share this information with any of your friends of family who may be struggling right now. And if you would like more useful information, sign up to receive our weekly blog - giving you useful tips to help you Revamp your Skin, your Wellness and your Lifestyle.