It’s a weird concept to even comprehend, but just imagine if you actually are programmed to reject success.
All of the dream boards, and goal setting apps, all of the action plans and hard out determined actions just aren't getting you that far ahead.
Sure, you may be able to look back on your life and appreciate that you have definitely moved in a positive direction.
Sure, you are better off than you were 5 years ago….(maybe???)
But are you ANYWHERE near where you WANT to be? Are you even close to reaching that big dream or vision you have for your life? Or does it feel illusive? Ultimately unattainable? Like a big fat wish that never seems to even FEEL like it’s potentially going to happen?
That’s how I was feeling recently.
Kinda feeling like I have done all of this work, clearing blocks, focusing on the positive and pushing myself into action (even when I really wanted to procrastinate and clean my fridge and maybe do a couple of loads of washing, and hey it’s a great windy day, maybe I could strip all of the beds – great drying day today……..But NO, I will not be tempted by the fabulous Nor’Wester and I will ACT and I will take charge of my destiny……) and then falling into a bit of despair at the fact that stuff just wasn’t happening as quickly as I wanted.
Or even worse, wasn’t happening AT ALL.
My business wasn’t growing at the rapid rate I had projected. I was NOT hitting the targets I set myself and it was starting to feel a little bit embarrassing.
I could hear all of the
“I told you so’s” and the
“I knew this one wouldn’t be any different than all the other times…”
of all of my nay sayer acquaintances – just waiting to do their victory dance.
And then it hit me
I am so busy focusing on creating a successful business – But what is my “success programming”
Unbelievable. I was so outof tune with what my subconscious mind thought about SUCCESS. And it was working covertly in the background to PROTECT me from the very SUCCESS I thought I wanted to achieve.
Big awareness. And so – Luckily for you, I have figured out this little loop hole trap and I am sharing it with you.
So you can AVOID wasted months or even years, being stuck on a similar hamster wheel in your life.
Pen and paper time!
(and yes, YAWN, I do know that I all too often bring a homework element into my blogs, but you will thank me one day. No, really! You will. When this all falls into place and you get that a-ha moment, there will be a little voice inside your head going, PHEW, Thank Goodness for Zansie and all of her bloody pen and paper times!!)
So just grab the pen and paper and buckle yourself in.
Now maybe SUCCESS isn't exactly the word you have been working towards.
Maybe your failed attempts have been around
- WEALTH or
- POWER or
- SECURITY or
- LEADERSHIP or
- FREEDOM or
Whatever. Just pick which one you have that resonates with you.
What is that word that would FEEL like “man, that’s what I’m working towards’
Write down ALL of the downsides to having that word. YIP the downsides!
Now you may be thinking
‘Hey, there is no downside to me actually ACHIEVING great success in my business’
‘There is NO downside to FREEDOM. Once I’m financially free all of my problems will be goneburger’
(yes, I'm sure that is an actual word)
But just allow that loud voice to die down and REALLY think about it.
Maybe once you are successful:
You will have to be more Serious, like a real life business person
Maybe you will have to travel more and be away from your family
Maybe you will need to be more KNOWELDGEABLE, people will expect more from you, there will be pressure to continue to get MORE successful and then there’s the pressure of LOSING IT ALL.
Oh Yeah! There are downsides and there is probably a LOOOOONNNNNGGGGG list of them tucked away, deep in your subconscious. Hiding even.
And I’m telling you – YOU MUST LIBERATE THEM.
They are there anyway, so write them down. Get them OUT into the light of day so that you can ADDRESS them.
So take a minute and think about any possible DOWNSIDE that you will encounter if you actually achieve that THING.
Mmmmmmmmmmmm. Kinda overwhelming to think about but Soooo worth it.
NOW, next step
Think about someone you really really admire who has achieved Success (or whatever word you are working with).
My go to guy is Sir Richard Branson.
But you pick your person. (Sure, you are welcome to use mine, if you’re not sure who to go with!)
Think about all of the qualities that person, you admire; possesses. What is it about them that is so appealing.
Write them down!
My list looks a little like this
- I might have to change how I dress – suit up a bit
- I will probably have to travel more and be away from my family
- People will expect me to KNOW stuff (and what if I don’t know stuff and look like an idiot)
- I will have to be more Serious, like a real life business person
- Less free time for fun stuff, and being there for my kids
- And of course then there’s the worry of LOSING IT ALL.
Sir RICHARD BRANSON ADMIRATION LIST
- Always seems to be having fun
- Casual – not all stuffy in a suit and tie
- Seems to have a great work / family balance
- Smart – but not a jerky smart, a nice down to earth meet you at the pub for a pint and be a good bloke smart
- Strongly intuitive and willing to take risks
- Bursting with Integrity
- Always seems to be having fun
(yes I KNOW I repeated that one, but it’s a key one for me)
So now, Compare your two lists. There is the list of downsides and there is the list of admirable qualities.
Mmmmmm. Maybe just maybe, you can spend some time “REFRAMING” all of those horrifying downsides and appreciating that a LOT of them are quite possibly a bit like monsters in the closet.
(you know when you IMAGINE the big scary thing that is absolutely going to jump out and gobble you up in two fell swoops once you fall asleep, and then when you FINALLY turn on the light you realise that actually its just your old rain coat, hanging in a funny way on the hanger…….)
OK – so being nearly 50 years old makes that one seem a little childish, but hopefully you get my drift,
Our subsconscious mind is FULL with all of the horrifying imaginings from our childhood about how things HAVE to look (like success, or freedom etc) A lot of those imaginings are things we’ve heard grown ups say around us, or things we’ve seen in movies, but they become REAL to our subconscious mind. And it gets VERY busy protecting us from them.
And all we need to do is bring them out into the light of day, and REFRAME them.
So actually, Maybe I can be successful the 'Sir Ricahrd Branson way'. Maybe I can still be casual and fun and relaxed and kind and gracious etc etc etc AAAANNNDDD successful.
It is possible. But first, YOU MUST settle your subconscious down and re-programme it a littlewith a cheeky and simple REFRAME, so that it can start working WITH you towards your goals rather than working to SABOTAGE everything.
So there you have it. I hope you enjoy this process and notice how free’ing it feels to clear some of that clutter out of the way.
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